Talk, Touch & Turned On: Partnered Orgasm Education for Deeper Connection (Part 2)

💞 Beyond Solo—Let’s Talk Pleasure Together

Solo confidence? Check. Now, let’s take it up a notch.

Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, exploring with a new lover, or just getting back out there, shared pleasure is a whole new kind of intimacy. And here’s the kicker: it starts with you. Knowing your body is the first step. The second? Asking for what it needs.

This blog is for anyone who’s ready to experience better orgasms with a partner, open up communication around intimacy, explore new tools and sensations—together, and deepen emotional + physical connection.

💋 Let’s make connection sexy again.

Real talk? Most of us were never taught how to talk about sex—let alone enjoy it with confidence. But connection, communication, and chemistry aren’t things you’re just born with. They’re built. Let’s build it together.

1️⃣ The Orgasm Gap: What It Is & Why It Matters

There’s no shame in not always reaching the finish line—but there is a problem when entire groups of people feel left behind. Enter: the orgasm gap.

The facts:

In heterosexual encounters, men report climaxing 95% of the time.
Women? Just 65%—or less.
LGBTQ+ folks in same-gender partnerships often experience more satisfaction overall, largely due to better communication and mutual understanding.

We’re not here to play the blame game—we’re here to close the gap. That starts with open dialogue, less pressure, and more intentional pleasure.

✨ The takeaway? Pleasure thrives where communication lives.
No one is a mind reader, and no two bodies are the same. You have to talk about it to get more of it.

2️⃣ Know What You Like—Then Ask for It

Part 1 of this series was all about learning your own body. Now, the real challenge: sharing what you learned.

🙋♀️ Here’s a real-life moment: One of our readers told us she spent years faking orgasms until she finally tried a bullet vibe on her own. She realized her body needed slower, deeper stimulation—something she never communicated before because she didn’t know herself. Once she figured that out, she was finally able to guide her partner with confidence. And guess what? Their intimacy blossomed.

Try this communication formula:

🔥 "I love when…"
Example: "I love when you go slow at first—it builds me up."

💬 "I’ve been wanting to try…"
Example: "I've been curious about using a toy together—just to see how it feels."

💕 "Can we explore this together?"
Example: "Would you be into adding massage before we get into it?"

This approach invites connection instead of confrontation—and creates space for both partners to be heard.

3️⃣ Create a Safe Space for Sexual Conversation

Talking about sex doesn’t have to be awkward or mechanical. It can be playful, spontaneous, even hot. But it does need to feel safe.

💡 Tips to open up:
Don’t have the convo during sex. Choose a walk, a drive, or an aftercare moment.
Use “I” statements instead of “you” accusations.
Bring in something neutral—like a blog post (hi 👋), a podcast, or a toy you saw online, (at gopermissive.com of course).

Try this line:
"I read this blog on Permissive and it made me think… what turns you on that we haven’t tried yet?"

Your words can be the key that unlocks a new level of intimacy. And if it feels clunky at first? That’s okay. Vulnerability is the price of deeper connection.

4️⃣ Incorporating Toys & Tools Without Ego

Let’s debunk the myth: toys don’t replace partners—they enhance the experience.

If your partner feels insecure, remind them:
This isn’t a competition—it’s collaboration.

Using a toy together isn’t about “fixing” anyone. It’s about leveling up pleasure. It’s about exploration. It’s about saying, “Let’s make this feel even better—for both of us.”

🎁 Couple-friendly toy ideas:
Vibrating C-Rings – Adds sensation for both partners
Wands – Great for full-body massage before or during intimacy
Mini Bullets – Slide between bodies during penetrative sex
Bondage Kits or Silk Ties – For trust-building and playful restraint

5️⃣ Positions, Pacing & Pleasure Mapping

Pleasure isn’t a one-way street, and orgasms aren’t just about going faster. One of the best things you can do is slow down and pay attention to body feedback.

🧭 Try “Pleasure Mapping” together:
One partner lies down and gets to simply receive.
The giver explores different areas—kiss, touch, feather, warm oil.
Receiver gives only three responses: “Yes,” “No,” or “More.”

This teaches both of you what feels good—without needing to guess or fake it. It also helps build trust and curiosity, especially for couples exploring new territory.

6️⃣ Why Consent is Still Sexy (And Necessary)

Let’s talk consent—not as a legal checkmark, but as part of pleasure.

✅ Ongoing, enthusiastic consent = better sex.

Asking “do you like this?” or “can I try something new?” keeps everyone present and connected.

And remember: consent goes both ways—receivers and givers both have power.

✨ Permissive lives by this rule:
Red means stop. Yellow means check-in. Green means go.

7️⃣ Orgasms Are a Bonus, Not a Requirement

Orgasms feel amazing, but they’re not the only marker of a good sexual experience. Let go of goal-oriented sex and instead focus on connection, sensation, exploration, and laughter (yes, even that!).

💭 Think about your favorite moments of intimacy—were they all about climax? Or were they about the journey, the touch, the look in their eyes when you felt safe and seen? That’s what we’re talking about.

8️⃣ What If Things Don’t Go as Planned?

Sometimes a partner can’t orgasm.
You’re not synced up.
The toy dies mid-session.
Emotions get weird.

Guess what? It’s okay. Perfection is not the point—presence is.

When it feels off:
Pause. Ask what your partner needs.
Reconnect emotionally—cuddling, talking, even sharing a snack.
Know that every experience adds to your understanding of each other.

Intimacy isn’t built in the highlight reel—it’s in the bloopers, too.

9️⃣ Resources to Keep the Connection Going

Keep learning and playing together. We recommend:

The Pleasure Chronicles (our blog at GoPermissive.com)
Audio erotica apps for couples
Games like truth-or-dare or "Would You Rather?"
Setting pleasure dates where you explore something new—without pressure

And don’t forget to check out our downloadable guides, couples kits, and monthly workshops that are designed to take your connection deeper.

💌 Conclusion: Orgasm Education = Relationship Elevation

Whether you’re in a fiery fling or a long-term love, orgasm education makes you a better lover—for your partner and yourself.

When you give yourself permission to talk, ask, explore, and grow, you unlock a whole new kind of intimacy. Not just sex. Not just touch. Connection.

This National Orgasm Day, share the journey.
👉 Solo or together, this is your invitation to build a pleasure practice that lasts a lifetime.

💬 Got questions or stories to share? We’re all ears (and vibes). Drop us a line or tag us @GoPermissive.

And when you’re ready to play, our doors are always open. 💕