The Power Beneath: A Permission-Filled Guide to Pelvic Floor Health, Pleasure & Healing
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💗 The Power Beneath: A Permission-Filled Guide to Pelvic Floor Health, Pleasure & Healing
If you had asked me a few years ago what my pelvic floor was doing, I probably would’ve stared blankly and said something like, “Uh… being there?” I knew it existed in theory—somewhere down in the mystery zone between hips and tailbone—but I didn’t understand how critical it is to pleasure, posture, confidence, and overall well-being.
Now? Let’s just say I’ve become a little obsessed—in the best way—with what I call the “power beneath.”
Whether you're someone with a vulva or not, your pelvic floor deserves attention. It’s not just about bladder leaks or bouncing back after babies. It’s about intimacy, stability, energy, and even emotional release. And today, I want to walk you through what I’ve learned—not as a doctor, but as a curious woman who believes deeply in giving ourselves permission to feel, heal, and reconnect.
🧠 What Is the Pelvic Floor, Really?
Think of the pelvic floor as a strong, stretchy hammock of muscles sitting inside your pelvis. It connects your pubic bone to your tailbone and helps support your bladder, bowels, and reproductive organs. It also plays a major role in how we experience arousal and orgasm.
These muscles are working all day long—helping you pee, poop, support your core, and stabilize your entire body. They even pulse during orgasm (yes, those magical waves are made possible by your pelvic floor!).
Here’s what shocked me: the pelvic floor isn’t just “tight or loose.” It can be too tight, too weak, imbalanced, or overcompensating for other muscles that aren’t doing their job.
And when things are off… it can show up in unexpected ways.
⚠️ Signs Your Pelvic Floor Might Be Crying for Help
So many of us are taught to normalize discomfort. But your body is whispering (or shouting) clues every day. Have you noticed any of these?
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You leak a little when you laugh, cough, or jump
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Sex feels painful, shallow, or like you “can’t relax”
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Orgasms are harder to reach—or feel… muted
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You constantly feel like you have to pee
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You’re holding stress in your hips, belly, or lower back
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You clench your jaw or shoulders… all. the. time.
I’ve experienced some of these myself, and let me tell you—it’s not “just aging” or “just being a mom” or “just hormones.” It’s feedback. And the good news? You can do something about it. You don’t have to just live with it.
🌀 Why Your Pelvic Floor Is Linked to Emotion & Energy
I didn’t expect this part when I first started exploring pelvic health. But the more I learned, the more it made sense:
Your pelvic floor holds energy.
Tension.
Shame.
Grief.
Trauma.
Desire.
It’s a sacred space—and for many of us, it’s been neglected or shamed or even disconnected from our awareness altogether. That’s why pelvic healing isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, sensual, and deeply personal.
Think about how often we “clench up” without noticing. When we’re anxious. When we feel exposed. When we’re rushing through our day. That unconscious tightening can become chronic—locking up the very muscles that are meant to help us let go.
🔥 The Pleasure Connection: Strong Floor, Stronger Orgasms
Okay, let’s talk pleasure.
Your pelvic floor is like a rhythm section in your body’s sensual symphony. When it’s toned and responsive—not tight, not floppy, just healthy—it enhances everything from blood flow and arousal to sensitivity and orgasm intensity.
Stronger pelvic muscles can:
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Help you feel more during penetration
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Increase orgasm strength (yes, those waves get BIGGER)
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Improve natural lubrication
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Reduce discomfort from dryness or tightness
And the best part? This doesn’t require hours at the gym or expensive treatments. It starts with awareness and a little intentional movement.
💪 Kegels Are Not a One-Size-Fits-All Solution
Raise your hand if someone told you to just “do your kegels.” 🙋🏽♀️
Here’s the thing: kegels are great—but only when used correctly. Some people actually need to relax their pelvic floor, not tighten it. Overactive muscles can cause pain, tension, and make penetration feel impossible or uncomfortable.
So before you start squeezing like it’s a race, here’s a better approach:
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Check In First
→ Sit or lie down. Inhale deeply, and see if you can feel the muscles between your sit bones expand. Then exhale and gently engage them—like you're trying to stop a stream of urine. -
Breathe With It
→ Pair movement with breath. No clenching. No holding your breath. Just a soft inhale-expand, exhale-lift. -
Balance the Work and the Rest
→ You wouldn’t bicep curl 100 reps without resting. Your pelvic floor deserves the same kindness.
Still unsure? A pelvic floor physical therapist can help assess where you’re at—tighter, weaker, or just needing a little re-alignment.
🌬️ Breath, Posture, and Letting Go
One of the most surprising things I’ve learned? Breathing patterns and posture deeply affect your pelvic floor.
When we shallow breathe or hold tension in our upper body, our diaphragm and pelvic floor can’t move fluidly together. And when that movement is stuck, everything from digestion to desire can take a hit.
Try this:
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Sit or lie comfortably
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Inhale through your nose into your ribs and belly
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Feel your pelvic floor expand downward like a blooming flower
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Exhale gently through your mouth and feel it lift naturally
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Repeat 5–10 times
That’s pelvic floor awareness in motion. No fancy tools required—just permission to feel.
✨ The Power Beneath: A Permission-Filled Guide to Pelvic Floor Health, Pleasure & Healing
Part 2: Tools, Rituals & Permission to Thrive
By now, I hope you’re feeling more connected to this beautiful, complex part of your body—because your pelvic floor is more than just a set of muscles. It’s a gateway to better movement, more satisfying sex, stronger energy, and deeper self-awareness.
And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably wondering…
“Okay, now what? What do I do to support it?”
So let’s dive into the daily habits, healing rituals, and sensual tools that have helped me (and many others) reconnect to our “power beneath”—with softness, curiosity, and a whole lot of permission.
☀️ Habit Shifts That Support Pelvic Floor Wellness
These small changes may not look glamorous on Instagram, but trust me—they make a big difference over time. Think of them as your pelvic love language:
1. Hydrate, but Don’t Hover
→ Drink water consistently, but don’t rush to the bathroom “just in case.” That trains your bladder to become overactive. Instead, wait until you feel the need.
2. Sit with Support
→ Posture check: Are you slouching on your sacrum or tucking your pelvis under? Switch to sitting on your sit bones, feet flat, and pelvis neutral. Your pelvic floor will thank you.
3. Stop Pee-Pee Pushing
→ Don’t bear down or “force” your pee to come out faster. That puts strain on your pelvic floor. Let your body do its thing.
4. Ditch the Tight Jeans… Sometimes
→ Tight clothes, especially around the waist and crotch, can compress nerves and create pressure. Swap them out occasionally for flowy, comfy fabrics. (Bonus: easy access if things get steamy 😉)
5. Movement = Medicine
→ Gentle walking, hip circles, breathwork, squats, and even dancing in your kitchen all help keep the floor healthy and responsive. You don’t need a gym. You just need rhythm.
🌿 Sensual Self-Care & Pelvic Floor Play
Let’s be honest—we don’t just want to function, we want to feel. To me, that’s where true healing and empowerment lives. And when it comes to your pelvic floor, pleasure isn’t just a perk—it’s part of the process.
Here are some tools and rituals I love (and yes, you’ll find them at GoPermissive.com):
🌺 Vaginal Dilators or Wands
→ These aren’t just for post-birth or trauma—they can gently help lengthen, soften, and reintroduce connection to the inner pelvic wall. Go slow. Use lots of lube. Listen to your body.
🌸 Intimate Massagers with G-Spot Curves
→ Vibrations (especially gentle, rumbly ones) can increase blood flow and support muscle tone. Use them solo or with a partner for internal awareness and arousal.
💧 Lubricants Matter
→ A high-quality, pH-balanced lube is a must for pelvic floor care. Dryness or friction can cause micro-tears, leading to pain and inflammation. Permissive tip: Keep a bottle by your bed and treat it like skincare.
💗 Yoni Eggs? Proceed with Care
→ I get asked about these a lot. While they can be helpful for some, they’re not for everyone. Focus on function over trend—and always prioritize hygiene and guidance if you're curious.
🔥 Pro Tip: Use toys or tools during non-sexual times first. That way, your body doesn’t feel pressured to perform. Just explore, breathe, and stay curious.
📲 My Go-To Pelvic Ritual (You Can Steal This One)
Here’s a real look at what I do a couple times a week:
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Light a candle
(Yes, I’m that girl. Vibe matters.) -
Breathwork + hip openers
Just 5 minutes. Cat-cow. Figure-4 stretch. Child’s pose with deep belly breaths. -
Warm shower or bath
I add a sensual body oil and let the heat relax my belly and inner thighs. -
Massage + release
I gently explore internal massage (sometimes with a curved wand) and check for any tender or tight areas. -
Affirmation moment
Out loud, I say: “I release what no longer serves me. I deserve connection, comfort, and pleasure.”
This little ritual has changed how I see my body—not just as a vessel, but as something sacred, responsive, and worthy.
🧠 When to Get Extra Help (No Shame, Just Support)
Sometimes, DIY isn’t enough. And that’s okay.
If you’re experiencing:
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Chronic pain or burning
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Penetration anxiety or severe discomfort
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Urgency, leaks, or prolapse
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Emotional trauma connected to this area
Please don’t wait. A certified pelvic floor physical therapist can assess what your muscles are doing, tailor exercises, and help you heal.
Also: talking to a trauma-informed sex therapist can be deeply healing. You’re not “broken.” You’re learning to listen to your body’s story.
💋 From Permission to Power
I named my brand Permissive because I believe pleasure is not a reward—it’s a right. And pelvic health? It’s your foundation.
So if no one’s told you lately…
You’re allowed to feel sexy without pain.
You’re allowed to say no—and yes.
You’re allowed to take up space, slow down, and feel every inch of yourself.
Healing isn’t linear. Some days it’s messy. Some days it’s electric. But the more you give yourself permission to know your body, the more your power grows.
🎁 Coming Soon: Your Free Pelvic Floor Care Guide
Want a printable tracker, product checklist, and sensual habit guide? I’m cooking up a freebie just for you—because this journey deserves something beautiful to match your energy. Stay tuned or join the email list here and I’ll send it right to your inbox the moment it’s ready.
❤️ Final Thoughts
This post wasn’t just a blog. It was a love letter to the part of you that’s been holding it all together—literally and emotionally.
So take a deep breath.
Roll your hips.
Touch yourself with intention.
And remember: you are already whole, already worthy, already powerful!